Write Your Way to More

JordanWriting. Practice.9 Comments

I know what it’s like to want to give up and quit on your writing. In fact, I have done so. Rejection, expectations that didn’t come to fruition, my own lack of ability to manifest the stories I wanted to tell have all, at various times, pressed me down into the murk where I thought I would never surface.

And not just once, or a few times, but dozens, maybe more. Enough so that when the dark times would strike, my husband of 18 years would pat me on the back and say, “This is what you do. You’ll come through.” This used to upset me. Why wasn’t he encouraging me, telling me I was genius, or empathizing with my despair? Because he knows. He’s watched me go through this cycle time and time again, year after year. He met me when I was 21, and only just starting to put  the writing into the world that I’d been doing since childhood. He knew, in fact, better than I did, that there was really only one truth to my artistic life: that I can’t live without it.

Do you feel the same?

It often takes a dark night of the artistic soul for us to understand the purpose of our writing. I had to come to my knees in the dark where I believed that all avenues toward success were done for, cut off, over in order to burrow deep enough into the center of myself to find the truth:  I will always rise and write.

Will you rise and write?

Aside from love and family, writing is the only activity that really matters to me.

There will come a point where you no longer need to justify or define your need to write, either,  just know that you have to keep doing it, no matter the outcome, no matter the ego-boost, no matter what.

When I reached that point, where I knew that I would keep writing no matter what, I also began to see that writing gave me so much. There’s a magic quality to the process. You set out thinking you know what you want to say and then something takes over—call it the muse,  the creative process, or the divine—but there comes a point where it no longer feels like an act of self but a collaboration with something more.

But guess what? If you stop…if you give in to the voices (and there will always be voice, sugar pie, friend, sweetness), you don’t get to find out what more there is. You simply get silence. Despair. Void.

I don’t want void for you. Allow yourself fullness, exponential growth, discovery, thrill.

I would take back so many moments of doubt and despair if I could. I would hold that young, fragile self and say, “Sister, just keep plodding forward, it’s going somewhere, I promise.” I would tell her what I will tell you now:

Everything matters. Everything counts. Every scrawled note on a napkin, every thought flung into a journal by the half-light of the moon at your bedside, every rough draft and crumpled, every attempted novel and submission that didn’t land, every poem and essay that burbled out of your gut like a burp, every moment of sharp clarity, every half-formed idea—it’s all leading you somewhere more.

I don’t know what “more” is for you. But I have seen it in writer after writer, myself included: when you keep working, striving, struggling, improving, seeking feedback and always come back to the writing, you receive rewards. Those rewards may be in the form of personal insight, or outward approval, or a job or project you’ve long desired. I can’t tell you. You can’t even tell you until you’re there.

There is goodness on the other side of struggle. You must not give in to the voices that tell you to quit. It’s almost as if the writing tries to haze you. And the more you give in, the less you give to your writing. You have to go through the ugly grappling to learn what I say. Like a forest that returns more lush and full after a fire, so does the writing prosper if you stick with it at its hardest.

All I know, and it’s a knowing so deep in my cells that I will never again doubt it is this: Your words matter. But they don’t come free. You have to work to bring them to fruition, but the work will always repay you tenfold, a thousand fold. I swear.

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Photo, “Sunset through the windows” by Sarah Reid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 International License.

JordanWrite Your Way to More

9 Comments on “Write Your Way to More”

  1. Susan Jennings

    Jordan, Your article was so timely and it helped me more than I can say. Thank you. My manuscript was read just this Monday, by one of my editor colleagues. I thought I was prepared for the onslaught of criticism. I was not. Nothing could have prepared me for his comments. My gut reaction was to never put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard ever again. Of course that did not happen I can’t stay away from writing. After discussing the results of this editors comments with other writers, it was suggested to me that it is a good idea to research the genres the editor works with and even send a synopsis of the manuscript to confirm the editor’s interest in your work. i believe that was my mistake. I had a specific audience in mind when I wrote this novel, but did not consider that when I looked for an editor to read it through. I hasten to add that he did have some excellent suggestions so all was not lost, except my pride and confidence is a little fragile at the moment.

    1. Jordan

      Susan, I have been there, so many times. Excited to pursue a lead, then crushed when it didn’t pan out the way I hoped…another thing I was just telling my husband last night is that seeds I planted years ago, now are coming to fruition in ways I could never have understood–all of it preparing me. So glad you can bounce back.

      Happy Friday

  2. Carol Nicolas

    Thank you for your very insightful article. I’ve been there too. There have been days when I wondered what I was doing this for, and why I was wasting so much of my time. But you are right. For some people, there is a tremendous need to create, and in order to feel whole, we have to do it. We must write! And so I continue to struggle forward. Your article has inspired me once again. Thanks!
    Carol

  3. Dr. Jean Lee

    Jordan, Ditto on Susan’s comments on your post being “so timely…” I started back at writing after a brief rest and found the rhythm of writing again. Yet, only to be distracted daily by work, deadlines, reports, sleep, & anything else that seems to take precedence over sitting at the keyboard. Some days I wish, if only there were about 4 or 5 more hours to a day to get in my writing! Although it probably wouldn’t change my habits of finding something else to stuff into that extra time, if provided.

    I am finding that at all costs, not withstanding sleep and work demands, that writing HAS to take precedence over other distractions. And getting into a daily habit of writing is what will get the job done. It seems to keep me disciplined when I write at least something everyday, whether a paragraph, a page, or even the rewrite of a sentence or two. It keeps the momentum going of writing and inspiration of what will flow next from my heart, head, and spirit in writing.

    I so appreciate the encouragement in your words, kind of like an online support group for writers with you facilitating the group! 😉 Awesome words you wrote and please keep up this great work!

    P.S. Nice image, seemed to me like a metaphor of the doors of writing waiting to be opened into the vast sea of possibilities and unknown opportunities.

    Overall, it’s good to be a writer, the hard work & everything that follows is still worth it & for this I am so thankful.

    Happy Friday to you as well!

  4. Jan

    Thank you Jordan, for this poke of motivation. I have had a mountain of failures to bury me in misery. I needed to be reminded that just putting pen to paper, just for my pleasure, is what digs me out, word by word till I see the sun shine.

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